I've Got My Own Double Cross To Bear

Today's feature song is the less well-known drinking song on Tom Waits' classic Small Change album (the best from his 1970's barfly era). It's my favorite track on the album. Not for the music, which is sort of plain, but for the plethora of fantastically pathetic drunken/heartbroken lines.

Tom Waits - Bad Liver & A Broken Heart (buy album)

I got a bad liver and broken heart
I drunk me a river since you tore me apart
I don't have a drinking problem, 'cept when I can't get a drink
I wish you'd a-known her, we were quite a pair
She was sharp as a razor and soft as a prayer

So welcome to the continuing saga
She was my better half, and I was just a dog
So here I am slumped,
I've been chipped and I've been chumped on my stool
So buy this fool some spirits and libations
It's these railroad station bars
All these conductors and porters, and I'm all out of quarters

And this epitaph is the aftermath
I choose my path, hey, come on, Kath
He's a lawyer, he ain't the one for ya
No, the moon ain't romantic, it's intimidating as hell,
And some guy's trying to sell me a watch
So I'll meet you at the bottom of a bottle of bargain Scotch
I got me a bottle and a dream, it's so maudlin it seems

You can name your poison, go on ahead and make some noise
I ain't sentimental, this ain't a purchase it's a rental,
And it's purgatory
Hey, what's your story?, well I don't even care
Cause I've got my own double cross to bear

And I'll see your Red Label, and I'll raise you one more
And you can pour me a cap, I just can't drink no more
Cause it don't douse the flames that are started by dames
It ain't like asbestos, it don't do nothing but rest us assured
And substantiate the rumors that you've heard...

This one is best if consumed with an entire fifth of Red Label Scotch.

You Whispered At Horse's Ears

Don't let the first track throw you. Notwithstanding the typically old and twangy nature of this space, rest assured that your proprietor is hep to all the latest tunes flowing through the internets. Here's a funny one from The Teenagers about their favorite starlet, Scarlett:

The Teenagers - Starlett Johansson (buy mp3 album).

Favorite line: "You whispered at horse's ears." (That's just genius. They could have said "in," but they said "at." Perfect.)

Read more about The Teenagers here: MySpace. And jump on The Teenagers' bandwagon here and here. (Download the song "Homecoming" for more fun.)

The real Scarlett would probably prefer these songs:

Tom Waits – Rain Dogs (buy album).
Tom Waits – Tom Traubert's Blues (buy album).

The first comes from Waits' tour de fource 1985 album by the same name. The organ intro is amazing. Actually, the whole darn album is musically and lyrically stunning. It's a STWOF Five-star must buy!

The second song comes from Tom Waits' early-period masterpiece, Small Change. Both of these albums have been regulars on the STWOF turntable for years, especially while enjoying a spot of Bushmills.

What's the connection between Tom & Scarlett, you ask? Well, if you haven't heard already, check this out: Scarlett Johansson Covers Tom Waits. Of course, the definitive female-artist-Tom-Waits-cover-album has already been made:

Holly Cole – I Don't Want To Grow Up (buy album).

And here are three more great songs with a Scarlett Johansson connection:

Pretenders – Brass In Pocket (buy album). (video).
Roxy Music - More Than This (buy album). (video).
Elvis Costello - What's So Funny About Peace, Love, and Understanding? (buy album). (video).

For further info on Ms. Johansson, check out: Movie Hotties

And finally, in honor of That Truncheon Thing (a superb music blog that officially closed its doors this week), enjoy some live Elvis Costello: Elvis Costello - You Belong To Me (Live). If you've never been to TTT, get there now while all the great music is still available. There are some fantastic rock bootlegs to be had.